De Amerikaanse presidentsverkiezingen 2004

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zaterdag, juli 17, 2004
Lachen om het circus
"Now trailing in the polls, President Bush unveiled some new weapons today: his daughters Barbara and Jenna, who have hit the campaign trail with their dad for the first time. In a recent interview, Jenna Bush says she's 'not political' and the electoral process doesn't interest her. Oh, she's daddy's little girl." —Craig Kilborn
"Pollsters say the strategy is very effective: One daughter distracts us from the economy while the other distracts us from the war in Iraq. Barbara just graduated from Yale, and plans to work in the pediatric AIDS program at Baylor University ... until her Dad cuts off the funding." —Craig Kilborn
"The Democrats are having their convention up in Boston and they've announced their convention line up. Here's the big surprise, they're not going to allow Hillary Clinton to speak at the convention. When Bill Clinton heard this he said, 'How do you do that.'" —David Letterman
"Big day in the Senate. Earlier today Republicans in the Senate failed to get enough votes to pass an amendment banning gay marriage. Afterwards Republicans said we're not giving up. If we can't ram it down your throats, we'll get it in through the back door." —Conan O'Brien
"Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards drinks four diet cokes every morning. When asked why Edwards said 'You'd drink that much caffeine if you had to stand next to John Kerry all day.'" —Conan O'Brien
"Florida officials have announced that this November they will allow felons to vote. You thought Bush stole the election last time. Now he'll be working with pros!" —Jay Leno
"A defiant George W. Bush intends to serve two terms in the White House ... Al Gore's and then his." —Jay Leno
"The Democratic National Committee released it's lineup of the politicians that will speak at the convention and Hillary Clinton is not on the list. But today Bill told her don't feel bad, none of his other women are speaking either." —Jay Leno
"Some polls show John Edwards with higher approval than Dick Cheney. That's pretty amazing, isn't it? For the first time ever, the lawyer is ahead of the guy in the ambulance!" —Jay Leno
"The Bush administration may postpone the November election if there's a terrorist attack. If there's a terrorist attack, they may postpone the election. Or, they'll postpone it if there's scattered showers." —David Letterman
"Republicans say they don't want the terrorists to determine the election. No they want the governor of Florida to determine the election" —David Letterman
"In fact it was so hot today, Bush said, 'That's it. We may have to postpone the presidential election.'" —Jay Leno




© Marc van Gestel 2003 - 2004