De Amerikaanse presidentsverkiezingen 2004
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zaterdag, juli 24, 2004
"In a speech the other day to the Amish, President Bush said that God speaks through him. That's what he said. I don't know, do you think God would mispronounce that many words?" —Jay Leno
"President Bush said today he is looking into if Iran had anything to do with 9/11, but he's not declaring war yet. He said first he wants to know all the facts -- so apparently he's trying a new strategy." —Jay Leno "Howard Dean was at the Washington, D.C., airport. He's in a pay phone when a thief reached in and swiped his wallet and ran away. ... Usually when a democratic presidential candidate gets robbed it's not until November." —Jay Leno "Vice President Dick Cheney attended his 45th high school reunion. Not surprisingly, during high school Cheney was voted most likely not to live until his 45th high school reunion." —Conan O'Brien "The other day John Edwards attended a fundraiser at Disney World's Magic Kingdom. Unfortunately for Edwards park officials kept coming up to him and asking where his mommy and daddy were?" —Conan O'Brien "The Bush daughters have joined the campaign to help their father in his election for president and it was announced that their Secret Service code names are Twinkle and Turquoise. Twinkle and Turquoise? To which Kerry and Edwards said, 'Hey! Those are our code names; that's what we call each other! Come on!"' —Jay Leno "Edwards started this whole thing about there are 'two Americas.' Now John Kerry is talking about it too, 'the two Americas.' You know why they're doing this? They're preparing us for the next tax hike. So when you complain, 'Hey! My taxes are twice what they use to be,' they can say, 'Of course they are. There are two Americas now."' —Jay Leno
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