De Amerikaanse presidentsverkiezingen 2004
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zaterdag, juli 31, 2004
Uit The Tonight Show met Jay Leno:
"How many are voting for the Democratic candidate? How many for the Republican candidate? And how many are waiting for 'The Manchurian Candidate'? I want to see what he has to say." "Have you heard about this movie, 'The Manchurian Candidate'? Pretty scary. It's about a guy who gets a chip implanted in his head when he was in the military and then runs for president and the big corporations tell him what to do. Do you really need a chip for that? Just send in a big campaign contribution. That'll take care of it, you don't need the chip." "The Republicans keep telling us the Democrats are trying to divide the country. Then the Democrats keep telling us the Republicans are trying to divide the country. And the result, the country is divided. Nice work, fellas! Hell of a job!" "John Edwards (news - web sites) gave his speech and I thought he did a great job considering he was a last minute replacement for John McCain!" "In fact, Edwards' speech was so good, when he finished, the delegates awarded him $80 million plus punitive damages!" "The Democrats kept mentioning that John Kerry (news - web sites) is a decorated war hero, but did you know that Dick Cheney (news - web sites) has a purple heart. Did you know that? It's from eating steaks, not from the military, but hey!" "Now that the Democratic convention is over, the Republicans are getting ready for theirs. Their slogan for Bush: Four more wars, four more wars!" "A bunch of brand new electronic voting machines down in Florida actually malfunctioned two years ago during a local election, leaving absolutely no way to do a recount and erasing any proof that anybody actually voted. You ever noticed we never have any trouble with Lotto machines? Why is that?" "Apparently, Florida bought these new machines from the same company that makes those machines you see in supermarkets, where you try to pick up the stuffed animal with the claw."
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