De Amerikaanse presidentsverkiezingen 2004
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woensdag, augustus 11, 2004
"Bush and Kerry tried to plan their schedules so they're not in the same place at the same time. A tradition they started during Vietnam." —Craig Kilborn
"President Bush told the crowd with your help Cheney and I will have four more years. I'm sorry that was his meeting with the Supreme Court." —Jay Leno "Al Qaeda's new strategy is to destroy our financial institutions and bring the nation's big businesses and major corporations to its knees. No wait, I'm sorry, that's Ralph Nader's platform." —Jay Leno "Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge said in a press conference that several of our major financial institutions are in danger of being hit by terrorists. When John Kerry heard about this, he immediately placed Teresa Heinz Kerry in an undisclosed location." —Jay Leno "John Kerry and John Edwards recently published their political promises and strategies in a book. You see that's smart putting all their ideas in a book. This way they're certain to keep them secret from Bush." —Jay Leno "John Kerry is getting a little desperate. He's changed his slogan from 'Hope is on the way' to 'My wife will buy you a Lexus.'" —Craig Kilborn "The president announced a new position for one man to be in charge of all terrorism-related decisions. Don't we have this? Isn't this called the president?" —Craig Kilborn "Kerry and Edwards set out on a two-week, 21-state bus tour. On the side of the bus it says, 'Believe in America.' You know what it says on the side of Ralph Nader's bus? 'Exact change only.'" —Jay Leno "Bush is back in DC, that's where he goes when he wants to get away from the ranch for a few weeks." —Jay Leno
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