De Amerikaanse presidentsverkiezingen 2004
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donderdag, augustus 12, 2004
"John Kerry embarked on an 1,800 mile train trip through several key battleground states. 1,800 miles on a train — that is the longest Kerry has even gone without changing direction." —Jay Leno
"The federal government reported that despite much higher expectations U.S. employers only added 32,000 jobs to the payroll this month. Even worse folks, the jobs were all in India." —Conan O'Brien "A controversial new book claims that John Kerry laughed while burning enemy villages and slaughtering animals. I don't buy it — Kerry laughing?" —Craig Kilborn "This week the Bush campaign unveiled its new slogan. The new slogan is 'We've Turned A Corner And We're Not Turning Back.' This replaces their old slogan 'Do What Dick Cheney Says And Nobody Gets Hurt.'" —Conan O'Brien "On the campaign trail, people are coming up to Teresa Kerry and telling her to keep speaking her mind. Not surprisingly, they all work for the Bush campaign" —Conan O'Brien "Do you know what happened on this day 4 years ago? Well, whatever it was, the Department of Homeland Security just found out today." —Jay Leno "This weekend, John Kerry's going to be meeting with leaders of the Navajo Indian tribe. They found out that there were two Americas and they want both of them back. While Kerry's on the reservation he will go by his Indian name, Longface." —Jay Leno "The Republicans now getting ready for their big convention in New York City. Apparently they have a plan for going into New York, but they don't have a plan for getting out." —Jay Leno "In Davenport, Iowa, while President Bush and John Kerry were giving speeches they had three banks robberies. You know you let Washington politicians in your town and you're going to attract the wrong element. ... Luckily both Bush and Kerry have been eliminated as suspects. Because of his wife Kerry doesn't need the money and, come on, nobody believes Bush is smart enough to pull off this kind of job." —Jay Leno
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