"According to the latest poll today, Ralph Nader is down to 1 percent of the popular vote. 1 percent! That's embarrassing. He's even trailing low-fat milk, that's 2 percent." --Jay Leno
"Dick Cheney said that if John Kerry wins, there will be another attack. Then Cheney said, if Bush wins, I'll call it off." --Conan O'Brien
"Yesterday in Iowa, Vice-President Dick Cheney warned voters that a Kerry victory in November’s election will result in another terrorist attack. He also warned that a drunk and celebrating Michael Moore could crush dozens of registered voters!" --Jimmy Kimmel
"According to a new book, when President Bush was on National Guard duty he would sometimes sneak off to smoke marijuana and snort cocaine. When he heard this, President Bush said, 'That's ridiculous. I never showed up for National Guard duty.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Dick Cheney is saying there is great risk if John Kerry wins. Yeah, the risk is that President Bush won't be able to find another job." --David Letterman
"Pundits are saying that Kerry's message is garbled. You know you're doing badly when you're running against Bush and you're the one who is garbled." --David Letterman
gepubliceerd door Marc op zondag, september 12, 2004 #