"Of course you know, President Bush has been taking a couple days off this week to prepare for the debates. In fact, he's having a microchip implanted in his ear. This will allow Dick Cheney to speak to him directly. 'It's pronounced 'Fallujah' 'Abu Ghraib.'" --Jay Leno "The debate deal for three debates almost fell apart because John Kerry did not want a light to flash when his time was almost up. And George Bush didn't want a light to flash because he's easily distracted." --Jay Leno
"All the experts have been on TV saying the one thing that each candidate must do to win. Like Kerry can't look like a know-it-all. And Bush can't be too simplistic. So basically the entire presidential race comes down to this, the smart guy has to look a little dumber, and the dumb guy has to look a little smarter. To win, each guy has to pretend to be more like the other guy." --Jay Leno
"Each candidate has agreed to 32 pages of rules. I'm telling you, it's like being a J. Lo husband." --David Letterman
"They say this debate is already helping the economy. In fact, millions of people are buying large-screen TV sets so they can see Kerry's entire head." --Jay Leno
"This just in -- CBS says it can no longer vouch for the authenticity of John Kerry's tan." --David Letterman
gepubliceerd door Marc op vrijdag, oktober 01, 2004 #