De Amerikaanse presidentsverkiezingen 2004
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vrijdag, oktober 22, 2004
"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno":
"Sparks were flying again today. Al Gore accused President Bush of using religion to support his presidency. And George Bush fired back that 'Al Gore's just mad because God made me president.'" "Al Gore also said in a speech yesterday ... that 'President Bush governs from a love of power.' You know as opposed to Gore's old boss who governed from the power of love." "In an interview in USA Today, Teresa Heinz Kerry said she didn't think Laura Bush, who was a public school librarian for nine years, had ever held a 'real job.' Let me tell you something, if you're a librarian married to George W. Bush, there is no harder job on earth." "Teresa Heinz Kerry's defenders said, 'Oh, she just says those things once in a while because she's eccentric.' You know what eccentric means? It's when someone is crazy, but they're rich. Like, you never see an eccentric homeless guy." "The Cheneys announced that for the final two weeks of the campaign, their daughter will be straight." "If Bush has a second term, Dick Cheney could be a candidate in 2008. A lot of people forgot about that. But Cheney says he has no intention of running for president for three reasons. One: He'll be too old. Two: He's had health problems. And three: He's already been president." "Early voting began in Florida this week and guess what? There are already problems! After waiting two to three hours many Florida voters are shocked to get to the front of the line and find out — 'What? No flu shot?'" "You know why Florida has started voting this week? See primitive places like Florida and Afghanistan need longer to count the votes." "Here's some good news. Federal officials say they found another 2.6 million doses of flu vaccine, which they will be able to distribute in January. That is, if Bush wins. If he doesn't, they might accidentally lose it." "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "In a new poll, Nickelodeon asked children who they would vote for in the presidential election and the kids picked John Kerry. Bush was so angry he told the kids tonight they would get a visit from the 'Boogie-Cheney.'" "Yesterday, one of Iran's top leaders announced that he wants President Bush to win the election. After hearing this, President Bush said, 'You know, for an evil doer, he's not such a bad guy.'"
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