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De Amerikaanse presidentsverkiezingen 2004
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zaterdag, oktober 23, 2004
"Late Night with Conan O'Brien":
"Earlier today, John Kerry went hunting for geese in Ohio, but President Bush says Kerry only did it for the photo op. The weird part is that Bush said this while wearing a flight suit and standing on the deck of an aircraft carrier." "In Florida, voting in the Presidential election started two weeks early. Senior citizens are already reporting problems with the voting machines. Apparently the seniors are confused because when they pull the lever, no quarters come out." "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno": "Neither Bush or Kerry have gotten a flu shot and both said today they won't get one. Ralph Nader also said he wasn't getting a flu shot. Though in his case he doesn't need one because he doesn't come in contact with any large crowds." "Ralph Nader's latest complaint - he says he's being held back by special interest groups working against him. I think they're called the American people." "The Kerry campaign announced today they will have ten thousand lawyers at the polls in battleground states. Ten thousand lawyers. Well, let's hope you don't slip and fall on the sidewalk outside a polling place. You could be buried alive in business cards." "John Kerry went hunting today. He said he killed a goose. He didn't bring Teresa along because he was a little rusty and he was afraid he might kill the goose that laid the golden egg." "Late Show with David Letterman": "John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well; he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts." "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart": "But the administration is fighting back against the flu ... criticism. Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson, sought to pre-empt panic by noting, quote: 'We've successfully worked through vaccine supply problems in the past and we're doing so this time as well. We need all of us to take a deep breath.' Adding, 'On second thought, make that a shallow breath. Preferably through a gauze pad.'" gepubliceerd door Marc op zaterdag, oktober 23, 2004 # 
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