De Amerikaanse presidentsverkiezingen 2004

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vrijdag, november 12, 2004
Lachen om het circus
"Attorney General John Ashcroft resigned today. In a note to President Bush, he declared victory over crime and terrorism, so that's good news. No more of that. He told the press he's retiring –- to spend more time wiretapping and interrogating his loved ones." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Attorney General John Ashcroft has resigned. He didn't want to resign, but the Bush White House thought he was just too liberal." --Jay Leno
"Do you remember that guy John Kerry? He was all over the TV like, a week ago, and then he disappeared. He re-emerged today saying he wants to stay involved in politics to counter President Bush, and he even said he’s 'Fired up.' Well, he’s right on one of those two words. You could tell he’s serious though because his facial expression almost changed." --Jimmy Kimmel
"As I'm sure you've heard, 'Operation Phantom Fury' is now underway in Iraq. You know, where are we coming up with the names for these missions? 'Phantom Fury'? What is President Bush dipping into his comic book collection now? What’s next 'Operation Green Hornet'?" --Jay Leno
"If you saw the footage of Fallujah. Bullets flying through the air. Smoke in the streets. People yelling in foreign languages. It's like L.A. only with much cheaper gas." --Jay Leno
"The Pentagon said we are making good progress. And that very soon Fallujah will be a red state." --Jay Leno
"Ralph Nader has requested a hand recount of all the ballots in New Hampshire. So let me get this straight, John Kerry doesn't demand a recount but Ralph Nader does. Of course the nice thing about a hand recount of all Nader's ballots, you can count them all on one hand." --Jay Leno
"I'm sure you know, there’s talk of Hillary Clinton gearing up for 2008. Or as Bill calls her, 'The Polar Express." --Jay Leno
"Calls are pouring in from leaders around the world to Mrs. Arafat. French President Jacques Chiraq said he hopes for the best. British Prime Minister Tony Blair sent his regards. And VP Dick Cheney called to ask if Arafat had filled out a heart donor card?" --Jay Leno
"Earlier tonight on CBS it was the 38th Annual Country Music Awards. It was another heartbreaking loss for John Kerry." --David Letterman
"The Bush's have a new dog in the White House. The dog is named Miss Beasley. I was thinking the last president also had a dog that licked him under the desk." --David Letterman




© Marc van Gestel 2003 - 2004